Not a new me in the new year, but a new beginning

Emphasizing that New Year’s goals should not mean completely rejecting one’s former self, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said, “You do not have to demolish a building and rebuild it from scratch. You can move forward by repairing the existing building. The self does not change overnight. Rather than saying a new me, it is more accurate to say a new beginning.”

Stating that one of the most common mistakes in setting New Year’s goals is setting too many goals, Prof. Tarhan said, “When there are too many goals, a mental burden is created. This is called excessive motivation, and paradoxically, excessive motivation results in failure. Instead of high motivation, realistic goals should be set.”

Emphasizing that unrealistic goals also wear a person down psychologically, Tarhan said, “This is called the false hope syndrome or toxic optimism. Unrealistic hopes drag a person into pain, break motivation, and lead to a depressive state.”

President of Üsküdar University and Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan discussed setting the right goals for the new year and sustainability on the program Nevzat Tarhan ile Akla Ziyan, broadcast on EKOTÜRK.

The 5 steps of goal setting

Noting that New Year’s goals are explained in psychology through the “fresh start theory,” Tarhan said, “When a person sets a new goal, it must meet five main criteria. The goal must be realistic, original, measurable, time-bound, and achievable. If these five criteria are present, the person manages their goals correctly.”

Giving an example from daily life, Prof. Tarhan pointed out that goals such as “I will exercise for 10 minutes every evening” are time-specific, clear, measurable, and achievable.

Exaggerated goals lead to hopelessness

Stating that unrealistic goals create excessive mental load, Prof. Tarhan said that this is defined in psychology as the “negative hope syndrome” and added, “A person sets very big goals, cannot achieve them, and gives up. Then they say ‘I cannot do it,’ feel inadequate, and may enter a depressive mood. That is why setting realistic goals is very important.”

Goals should not be only material

Emphasizing that focusing only on professional or financial gains when setting goals is an incomplete approach, Prof. Tarhan said, “Financial goals are of course important, but alongside them there should be health goals. How will I eat, how will I protect my physical health, and so on. In addition, psychological well-being and wellness should also be among the goals.”

Drawing attention to studies conducted after the pandemic, Prof. Tarhan said, “After the pandemic, especially in the United States, people began to set goals such as being psychologically stronger and happier rather than just being successful. Psychological well-being, or well-being, is now one of the fundamental goals.”

The brain seeks meaning

Stating that goals should not only be outward-facing but should also carry a dimension of meaning that transcends the self, Prof. Tarhan said, “The human brain has biological needs. The brain seeks meaning, relationships, freedom, and infinity. If I do not place what I do on a foundation of meaning, the brain keeps that information as an unresolved file. But if I put it into a logical and value-based framework, it uses it as solid information.”

At this point, Prof. Tarhan also touched on the distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, noting that extrinsic motivation is focused on what others will say, while intrinsic motivation is related to the goals a person sets for themselves.

Mental preparation for obstacles increases success by 40 percent

Drawing attention to the fact that the process of reaching a goal is a cycle, Prof. Tarhan explained the importance of being prepared for obstacles with these words:

“When there is a purpose, a need arises. The need turns into desire, and desire activates the person. But an obstacle will definitely appear. If a person has mentally prepared for what they will do when that obstacle arises, research shows that they become 40 percent more successful.”

Stating that short-term, medium-term, and long-term planning enables efficient use of mental capacity, Prof. Tarhan said that this is directly related to time, attention, and priority management.

Not a new me, but a new beginning

Emphasizing once again that New Year’s goals should not mean completely rejecting the former self, Prof. Tarhan explained this approach through the concept of “life stacking.”

“You do not have to demolish a building and rebuild it. You can move forward by repairing the existing building. The self does not change overnight. Rather than saying a new me, it is more accurate to say a new beginning,” said Prof. Tarhan. He defined this process in psychology as “moratorium” and stated that a person should from time to time pause, reflect, evaluate the past, and then continue on their path with a new plan.

Being open to change is a biological necessity

Pointing out that humans are beings open to change, Prof. Tarhan emphasized that the brain operates according to the “use it or lose it” principle.

“When a person closes themselves off to change, they fall over like a bicycle. If the brain is not open to new experiences, it begins to dull,” said Prof. Tarhan, also drawing attention to the positive effects of physical movement on brain health and the importance of walking at least 5,000 steps a day.

Exercise for brain health, not only for physical health

Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that exercise increases a growth factor in the brain called BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor) and said, “This supports the brain in producing new cells and strengthening neural networks. Research shows that the brains of people who are open to new experiences renew themselves more effectively. Until the 1990s, it was believed that the brain could not renew itself. However, scientific discoveries made in 1998 proved that new cells are produced, especially in the hippocampus, which is the memory center. Studies have shown that this cell renewal does not occur at the same level in everyone; it is more pronounced in individuals who are open to innovation and eager to learn. In these individuals, growth hormones known as neurotrophic factors are secreted at higher levels. These hormones activate the BDNF gene in the brain. With the increase in BDNF, chemical transmission in the brain accelerates, synaptic connections are strengthened, and new nerve cells migrate toward the brain regions where they are needed. In this way, the brain restructures itself according to the areas that are actively used. While all these processes take place, the brain also creates new operating models, almost like new ‘algorithms.’ However, for this potential to emerge, the brain must not be left passive. A person must be the manager of their own brain and nourish it with movement, learning, and new experiences. For this reason, exercise stands out as one of the most important steps that can be taken in the new year, not only for physical health but also for brain health and mental renewal.”

The gut, heart, and brain are in constant communication

Prof. Tarhan also touched on the effects of nutrition on mental health and stated that the gut microbiota is related to the happiness hormone serotonin, saying, “Nuts are now called ‘psychobiotics’ because they affect the brain through the gut microbiota. The brain, the gut, and the heart are in constant communication.”

Emphasizing that New Year’s goals should be seen as an opportunity to recognize and correct faulty habits, Prof. Tarhan said, “If a person revises their goals with this awareness, they take a solid step in their life journey.”

Change requires mental preparation

Stating that New Year’s goals should not be seen as an instant decision limited to January 1, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan said, “January 1 is a symbolic date. Change does not happen suddenly. It definitely requires mental preparation. Simply sitting down and saying ‘this is my New Year’s goal’ is not enough. One needs to pause, reflect, and plan beforehand.”

Prof. Tarhan also noted that the New Year period offers an important opportunity in terms of relationships and said, “The best gift at New Year is not expensive presents bought for loved ones, but quality togetherness. It is the time devoted to them.”

Too many goals create a mental burden

Stating that one of the common mistakes in New Year’s goals is setting too many goals, Prof. Tarhan said, “When there are too many goals, a mental burden is created. This is called excessive motivation, and excessive motivation paradoxically leads to failure. Instead of high motivation, realistic goals should be set.”

Prof. Tarhan stated that goals must have five scientifically accepted basic characteristics and said, “A goal must be realistic, original and specific, measurable, time-bound, and achievable. If these characteristics are not present, that is not a goal, it is a dream.”

Inflexible goals are destined to break

Emphasizing that not reaching a goal does not mean failure, Prof. Tarhan said, “If plan A does not work, there should be plan B, and if that does not work, plan C. A good mountaineer does not turn back when encountering an obstacle while climbing a mountain; they go around it from the right or the left, but they find a way. Because they know that someone has reached that summit before.”

Stating that the road to a goal begins with small steps, Prof. Tarhan emphasized that motivation comes after action and said, “Great journeys begin with a small step. Saying ‘let motivation come and then I will start’ is not realistic. First comes desire, then a step is taken, and motivation follows after that.”

Goals based on others’ approval remain incomplete

Noting that goals must be personal, Prof. Tarhan stated that extrinsic motivation is not lasting.

“Goals are personal and unique. Goals set based on ‘what will others say’ often remain unfinished. Goals set with intrinsic motivation may progress more slowly, but they are more lasting,” said Prof. Tarhan. He added that comparisons made on social media reduce motivation, and while comparison itself is not entirely wrong, it is harmful when used incorrectly.

“The human brain learns by comparing; this is a biological tendency. But you cannot draw a straight line with a crooked ruler. A person who constantly compares themselves with others cannot find peace,” said Prof. Tarhan, adding, “A person should compare themselves not with others but with their own goals. They should set short-, medium-, and long-term goals and compare their present self with their past self.”

Prof. Tarhan also stated that appearance-based comparisons, especially among young people, lead to serious psychological problems and said, “What makes a person beautiful is not only physical appearance. Twenty percent of beauty is physical, eighty percent is likability, posture, communication, and attractiveness. The value criteria imposed by modernism should be questioned.”

“Dreaming is useful, but it must stay grounded”

Stating that humans are beings who dream, Prof. Tarhan said, “One must be idealistic, but this should be combined with realism and activism. It is important not just to look at dreams, but to take a small step every day.”

Prof. Tarhan noted that the feeling of guilt experienced when goals are not achieved is not entirely negative and said, “Disappointments experienced on the path of life are sometimes not a threat but an opportunity. A person who asks ‘How can I turn this into an advantage?’ experiences growth-oriented trauma.”

Defining this process with the concept of “exploratory hopelessness,” Prof. Tarhan continued, “Instead of giving up, a person produces plans A, B, and C and gains skills. Life skills are formed in this way.”

False hope syndrome and toxic optimism

Emphasizing that unrealistic goals wear a person down psychologically, Prof. Tarhan said, “This is called false hope syndrome or toxic optimism. Unrealistic hopes drag a person into pain, break motivation, and lead to a depressive state.”

Prof. Nevzat Tarhan concluded his remarks by saying, “I recommend a new beginning for everyone in the new year, but not a new me. We can suggest improving the existing self.”