Prof. Nevzat Tarhan: “Empathy is the key to social healing”

The fifth session of “Psychology Talks with Prof. Nevzat Tarhan” was organized by Üsküdar University’s Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences, Department of Psychology, together with the Psychology Club and Positive Psychology Club. During the event, which drew great interest from participants, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan shared thought-provoking insights on narcissism, self-balance, empathy, hope, and the role of social sciences. He stated that a lack of empathy lies at the core of narcissistic personality traits and emphasized that people mature as they redirect their love from themselves toward others. Tarhan pointed out that the cooperation between reason and emotion helps maintain balance in decision-making and drew attention to Generation Z’s search for meaning. He stressed that empathy is the key to both individual and collective healing and underlined the importance of hope and balance.

The event took place at Üsküdar University South Campus Fuat Sezgin Conference Hall and was attended by Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, President of Üsküdar University, Prof. Deniz Ülke Kaynak, Dean of the Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences, as well as faculty members and students.

“There is a degree of narcissism in all of us”

Addressing the concept of narcissistic personality investment, Prof. Tarhan explained: “There is a difference between having narcissistic traits and having narcissistic personality disorder. In fact, every person has a core of narcissism. Anyone who says ‘I am not narcissistic at all’ is mistaken, because to some extent, we all are. The most narcissistic being is a child. As Freud described, there is a state called primary narcissism in children. A child is born narcissistic, believing they are the center of the world and that everything revolves around them, because their love investment is directed entirely toward themselves. Narcissism is essentially about where a person invests their love. When love is directed solely inward, narcissism develops, and the person perceives themselves as the center of the universe. In the beginning, a child directs love toward the self, but as they grow, they realize their mother, father, and others exist. Gradually, they begin to invest love in others: first their mother, then their father, siblings, and toys. With maturity, this expands to friends, the nation, humanity, existence, and even creation itself. In short, as people evolve, they learn to distribute their love in broader and more meaningful ways.”

Narcissistic personality is like a disease of leadership

Tarhan pointed out that leaders who become closed to criticism are more likely to make mistakes: “The most defining feature of narcissistic individuals is a lack of empathy. All literature on evil, if you look closely, refers to empathy deficiency as its root. Those with narcissistic tendencies cannot empathize and focus only on their own interests. Their thoughts, calculations, and attention revolve around personal benefit. These people thrive on praise. When they are not praised, they feel out of place, as if something vital is missing. When they are praised, they feel they have conquered or dominated the other person. However, when you firmly and reasonably say ‘no’ to them, they exert enormous effort to prove themselves.

Narcissistic personality traits are often observed in leadership, not only in politics but also in business. When a leader becomes resistant to criticism, mistakes are inevitable. The most common pattern I see in such individuals is that they live for success and admiration. Portraying themselves as smart and capable gives them great pleasure. Their main goal is to project this image to those around them. When criticized, they perceive it as hostility, and sometimes even interpret the absence of praise as a threat. They go so far as to categorize those who do not admire them as enemies.”

A rational actor is not guided by reason alone; emotions are active in decision-making

Emphasizing the role of emotions in decision-making, Tarhan stated: “We all carry narcissistic conditionings, and these are strongly connected to fast thinking. Daniel Kahneman, in his book ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow,’ discusses this in depth. Although he was a psychologist, he received the Nobel Prize in Economics in the 2000s for his work in behavioral economics, studying the psychological factors that influence human decision-making. Classical economics defines humans as homo economicus, meaning rational beings who calculate profit and loss and make logical decisions. However, Kahneman argues that humans are homo psychologicus, not merely economic but psychological beings. A rational actor is not guided solely by reason; emotions also play an active role in decision-making. We now know that a person who cannot manage their emotions cannot manage their mind either. Therefore, the cooperation between reason and emotion is essential.

If we teach someone emotional regulation, they can also manage their thoughts more effectively. In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), emotional approaches are now integrated alongside cognitive ones, because the brain first produces a thought, and when emotion is attached to it, it becomes a belief. When repeated, this belief turns into a habit in about six weeks and into a personality trait in about six months.”

“A person with meaning and purpose rarely makes mistakes”

Emphasizing that Generation Z should be seen as an opportunity rather than a threat, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated: “Generational conflict has always existed throughout history. It was present in Egyptian papyri, in Babylonian tablets, and even Socrates complained about it. This has always been part of human civilization. In today’s world, the half-life of knowledge has become very short. Because information changes so quickly, the differences between Generation Z and previous generations have become more visible. From the outside, they may appear self-centered or comfort-seeking, but their sense of innocence and expectation of justice are remarkably high. I see Generation Z not as a threat but as an opportunity. At their age, they feel as if they can save the world, and this is completely normal. As they mature, they will realize that others exist as well. Some will reach their forties and say, ‘My father was right.’ When we observe negative behaviors in Generation Z, the cause is usually not their fault but the lack of role models within families and society. My greatest concern right now is the sense of meaninglessness and aimlessness they experience. A person who has meaning and purpose rarely makes mistakes. If we give Generation Z an ego ideal, a meaningful goal worth striving for and enduring hardship for, they will not become a lost generation. On the contrary, they will become responsible individuals who contribute positively to society.”

“Empathy is the key to individual and social healing”

Tarhan explained that people need to teach their brains to experience meaningful happiness: “The global culture we live in today, in other words popular culture, has become focused on dopamine. Dopamine is the hormone of pleasure. It is short-term, purchasable, and temporary. Serotonin, on the other hand, is associated with meaning. It develops slowly but provides lasting and stable satisfaction. The brain’s network of meaning matures through serotonin. When society becomes dopamine-oriented, people begin to live through short-term pleasures. This is not something new. Aristotle mentioned this 2,500 years ago when he said, ‘There are two kinds of happiness.’ One is hedonic happiness, which is pleasure-based, and the other is eudaimonic happiness, which is meaning-based. Today, we even know the neurobiological counterparts of these. Hedonic happiness releases dopamine, while meaningful happiness increases serotonin. A wise person is one who teaches their brain to experience meaningful happiness. A brain that works with purpose produces long-term happiness. A person who lives with meaning learns how to be truly happy. Those who live for dopamine-based pleasures collapse easily when they lose something. That is why we must build our ego ideal around meaning. If we want to be good psychologists or good doctors, we must first be good human beings. The foundation of being a good person is empathy. Empathy means being able to understand and consider the needs and rights of others. Those who achieve this not only heal their own narcissism but also form genuine emotional bonds with others. Empathy, in this sense, is a powerful concept that serves as the key to both individual and social healing.”

Balance between selves is essential

Highlighting the importance of having an ideal self, Tarhan said: “Every person has a level of self, which is related to how they perceive themselves. If a person’s level of self and self-perception are close, that person is at peace with themselves. If the level of self is below self-perception, the person feels inadequate, which leads to a depressive state. If the level of self is above self-perception, the person sees themselves as superior, which creates a narcissistic pattern. There is also the self that a person actually is and the self they want to become. If someone cannot distinguish between the two, if they confuse their real self with their ideal self, personality problems appear. Therefore, maintaining balance between self-perception, self-level, and ideal self is very important. Every individual should have an ideal self, but it should be seen not as an unreachable goal but as a guiding compass. Individual psychology examines these matters in depth. In therapy, helping a person gain this awareness and learn to see themselves from an external perspective is very valuable. When someone begins to evaluate themselves in this way, they experience a deep internal awareness and transformation.”

“Hope is the emotion that a person can never give up”

Emphasizing the importance of working on hope and balance in therapy, Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated: “The two main pillars of positive psychotherapy are hope and balance. If you cannot give a person hope, you cannot conduct therapy. Viktor Frankl also says this in his book Man’s Search for Meaning. When you give meaning to suffering, it becomes manageable. Even war can be endured if it is given meaning, because we cannot manage what we do not give meaning to. When you work with a hopeless person, you see this very clearly. For example, if someone says, ‘I will never get better,’ this belief affects the brain. This is also the essence of the placebo effect. When a person says, ‘I feel dizzy,’ the brain perceives this belief as real by about forty percent, and the person actually starts to feel dizzy. This is what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy. When a person believes in something false, the brain begins to create the infrastructure to make that false belief come true.

Therefore, the first step in therapy is to give the person realistic hope. Hope is the emotion that a person can never give up. Because the moment hope ends, everything else ends as well.”

“Social sciences must become solution-oriented”

Highlighting the need for a new approach in the social sciences, Tarhan said: “So far, social sciences have largely followed a classical approach that says, ‘I produce knowledge, and what happens afterward is not my concern.’ However, social sciences must be solution-oriented. What benefit does the knowledge we produce bring to people and to society? If this question is not asked, any research remains incomplete. It is not enough to identify a problem; solutions must also be developed. If social sciences focus on solutions, they can become a motivating and guiding field that offers new perspectives and directions for society. Unfortunately, most current social science projects only focus on problems. Researchers conduct studies on topics like earthquakes, loneliness, or other social issues, prepare surveys, collect data, but fail to include solution proposals. When we add a solution-oriented perspective, social sciences can generate alternative viewpoints and options. That is when social sciences truly become a guiding force for society.”

The event, which drew great interest from participants, concluded with a group photo session.