Prof. Nevzat Tarhan: "The Ministry of Family is as Important as the Ministry of Defense"

President of Üsküdar University, Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan, was a live guest on TRT Haber’s Birinci Sayfa program. Tarhan made noteworthy remarks regarding the ongoing debate on "Banning Social Media for Those Under 16." Emphasizing that digital platforms have become an integral part of young people’s everyday lives, he pointed out that digital media primarily harms families without rules. Tarhan also highlighted that global capital has plans regarding the concept of family and stressed that efforts in this area are as crucial as the functions of the Ministry of National Defense in the medium and long term.

Digital platforms are part of everyday life

Psychiatrist Prof. Nevzat Tarhan stated that parents should adopt a dialogue-based approach rather than a monologue-style one. Tarhan stated that "Young people are natives of the digital world, while certain generations are more like immigrants in it. We are learning it later, whereas they were born into this technology. In such a situation, the digital world has become their learning model. Digital platforms are a part of their everyday lives, and it is crucial for adults to accept this. When they do, it becomes easier to establish relationships. Children born after 1990, who have grown up in the digital age, are more skilled in this area. For instance, when a parent engages in conversation with their child and says, ‘You know this topic better than I do, can you show me how to do this on the computer?’ It opens the door to dialogue. Monologue-style approaches come between parents and children. Dialogue is essential. If a parent takes a stance like, ‘In our time, we did not have this,’ the child easily responds, ‘Mom, you do not understand.’ This weakens parental influence. The authoritative parenting model is no longer valid today. Parents need to establish a horizontal relationship with their children, that is, embarking on a digital journey with them, communicating with them in their space, and understanding their world. When young people interact with the digital world under parental supervision, they are protected from many problems."

"Digital has created a divide between generations"

Tarhan noted that parents who succeed in moving with their children build healthier relationships and made the following remarks: "Even ancient Egyptian papyri and Hittite tablets contain references to two unchanging issues which are generation gaps and in-law conflicts. These topics are universally relevant. Digital technology has now deepened the generational divide. In the past, the half-life of knowledge was 30 years; however, now, it has dropped to 3 years or even less. In such situations, parents who can move alongside their children form stronger bonds. For example, 50 years ago, if a parent spent half an hour with their child, today, they must spend an hour. Parenting approaches also need to vary by age. The needs of children aged 0-6, 6-13, and over 13 differ. There is a famous saying by Ali ibn Abi Talib that is quite fitting for today: ‘Play with your children until they are 5, be their friend until they are 15, and consult with them after 15.’ Consultation happens with those who have knowledge. This should not be seen as spoiling children. It is about engaging with them based on their interests."

"Digital media harms families without rules the most"

Tarhan emphasized the importance of balancing freedom and responsibility within the family and continued his remarks as follows: "The home should be a welcoming place which is a space where everyone eagerly returns, where conversations and sharing occur, and where there is a warm atmosphere. The household should be structured with rules. Digital media primarily harms families that lack rules. Families that fail to establish a balance between freedom and responsibility struggle the most. Children do not know where to draw the line. Modernity has introduced a flawed teaching that says, ‘Let children be completely free so they can become individuals.’ This mindset leads to children being spoiled."

"True democracy begins at home"

Tarhan stressed the importance of a democratic family environment and stated that "Democracy is not just a system of governance; however, it is also a value. It must be practiced as a value in the home, family, and school. We have formulated this into four key principles: Criticism and Accountability is the ability to be questioned and held accountable. Libertarianism is the opposite of authoritarianism, oppression, and despotism. Pluralism  is the opposite of totalitarianism, which enforces uniformity, such as dictating that ‘Everyone in this house must support the same sports team I support.’ Participation is about the fact that decisions should be made collectively. If a parent adopts an attitude of ‘I know best, my word is law,’ then democracy does not exist in that household. Democracy does not mean behaving irresponsibly and without limits. A structured environment with clear rules is necessary. If a child does not experience the natural consequences of their actions, they are not being raised in a democratic setting. Democracy teaches the boundaries of life. If our goal is justice, our method must be democracy. True democracy starts at home."

"Those affected by daytime tv shows come to us"

Tarhan criticized the impact of certain television programs and stated that "People negatively affected by daytime TV shows seek our help. These programs claim to raise awareness of wrongdoing, but in reality, they desensitize viewers to immorality. Creating ‘awareness’ of theft, deception, and infidelity actually normalizes these behaviors. Daytime TV shows have a serious negative impact. When I point this out, television networks’ advertising departments get upset. However, our children are at great risk. They are being poisoned by this content, and we must be aware of it. Right now, the Ministry of Family has become even more critical than the Ministry of Defense. Raising a beneficial child for the country is the greatest victory for parents. If we fail to raise good children, all the factories we build will be secondary in importance."

Future generations face a serious threat

Tarhan warned against the dangers of cultural imperialism and noted that "The family remains the last bastion of values in the world. However, if current trends continue, in 20-30 years, we will be like Sweden and Norway. Right now, the rate of extramarital births in Türkiye is 2.9%, whereas in Sweden, Norway, and Finland, it is around 56%. That means 56 out of every 100 babies are born outside of marriage. Türkiye’s rate is currently low, but there is a significant risk of increase. Future generations are in serious danger. Previously, families were responsible for cultural transmission, but now, the media has taken over that role. The media is a powerful global actor, and much of its content is produced in Hollywood. We are facing cultural imperialism in which our minds have been occupied, particularly regarding the concept of family. There is a global capital-driven agenda to reduce marriage rates and, consequently, lower birth rates. This is why efforts in family-related matters are as crucial in the medium and long term as the functions of the Ministry of National Defense."

"Children need guidance, not exclusion"

Tarhan discussed measures to protect children and concluded his remarks as follows: "It is not enough to regulate social media platforms, and special software is also being developed for smartphones. These programs notify parents if their child accesses inappropriate content. This is something to consider. We don’t need to reinvent the wheel. In the U.S., child and adolescent psychiatrists are already raising serious alarms. Cases have increased significantly, especially after the pandemic. To address this, children must be guided through the digital world without being excluded from it. Government leadership in this area is essential."

Üsküdar News Agency (ÜNA)