The “mafia-type strong man” figure influences young people’s partner choices

The concept of romantic relationships is being reshaped under the influence of digital culture and increasing individualization. Evaluating the transformation in dating culture on the occasion of February 14 Valentine’s Day, Sociologist Dr. Berat Dağ pointed out that while long term relationships based on trust and loyalty continue to exist in Türkiye, relationship models grounded in violence and hierarchy have also gained visibility.

Stating that the “strong man” figure romanticized in the media normalizes violence and hierarchy, Dr. Dağ noted that relationship patterns based on violence and hierarchy have gained momentum and continuity in the country, and said, “The spread of this structure at the societal level through imitation negatively affects partner relationships.”

Dr. Berat Dağ from the Department of Sociology at Üsküdar University Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences evaluated the transformation of dating culture in light of Valentine’s Day on February 14.

Romantic relationships in Türkiye display various forms

Expressing that the concept of romantic relationships has undergone transformation in recent years, Dr. Berat Dağ stated that different forms of relationships are experienced simultaneously in Türkiye.

“It can be said that romantic relationships in Türkiye have displayed various forms in recent times. In the country, long term relationships based on trust, love, and respect can be observed, as well as short term examples that represent the opposite of these qualities,” said Dr. Berat Dağ, adding that excessive individualization has pushed some relationships onto unequal and oppressive grounds.

Pointing out that historical values and newly acquired norms coexist in society, Dr. Dağ stated, “Today, it is critical to diversify ways in which individuals preserve their own individuality while establishing balanced interactions with one another.”

The male figure in the media and patriarchy

Evaluating the romanticization of the “strong, tough, mafia-like man” figure frequently seen in television series and digital platforms, Dr. Dağ emphasized that this is directly related to the construction of gender.

“It can be considered that the male figure frequently encountered in conventional and new media is linked to a construction of gender shaped by patriarchy and capitalism,” said Dr. Berat Dağ, adding that the media is one of the key mechanisms that perpetuate this process.

Drawing attention to the fact that individuals who fall outside this figure may be more easily exploited and subjected to pressure in various areas of life, Dr. Dağ stated, “In this context, it should be emphasized that the overwhelming majority of media functions as one of the mechanisms that perpetuate a process in which male dominance is consented to. Within the reciprocal interaction between media and gender constructions, those who do not fit this figure are more likely to be exploited and pressured in the family they are born into, at school, among friends, in romantic relationships, in the family they establish, at work, and in political life.”

Relationship patterns based on violence and hierarchy are becoming widespread

Evaluating whether “strong, tough, mafia-like men” influence young people’s partner choices, Dr. Berat Dağ stated that relationship models based on violence and hierarchy have already gained momentum in the social sphere.

Emphasizing that such relationship patterns have already acquired continuity in the country, Dr. Dağ said, “The spread of this structure at the societal level through imitation negatively affects partner relationships. It is highly important for individuals to strive to multiply a genuine sense of love that increases geometrically beyond mere causality.”

Mafia-type or toxic relationship models are presented as ‘attractive’

Regarding whether presenting mafia-type or toxic relationship models as attractive normalizes violence, Dr. Dağ stated, “It is possible to speak of many different factors in the legitimization of relationships shaped by violence and hierarchy. One of these factors consists of words and actions that directly or indirectly suggest that destructive relationship patterns are natural and attractive. Therefore, the process through which social institutions collectively legitimize a wealthy, successful, dominant, and powerful masculinity is essentially a long term one.”

Date culture contains positive qualities, however…

Referring to the “date” culture that has become widespread in recent years, Dr. Berat Dağ said, “Individuals meeting at certain intervals before starting a relationship actually includes many positive qualities. In this way, it becomes possible for both parties to understand what they feel toward each other. However, considering that every excess tends to turn into its opposite, it is difficult to claim that no problems have emerged in the current state of these meeting based relationships.”

He noted that individualistic tendencies focused solely on momentary pleasures can instrumentalize relationship forms, and that this is not an unfamiliar tendency.

There is also resistance against social isolation

Regarding whether the increase in concepts such as flirting and dating signals growing social loneliness, Dr. Dağ stated that we are living in a period in which the individual is increasingly isolated.

“As much as individuals completely isolating themselves from their surroundings, their efforts to interact with one another in various ways can also be evaluated as a form of resistance against social isolation,” said Dr. Dağ, adding that it is an important question why this resistance is not addressed in a holistic manner in political, economic, and intellectual terms.

Values cannot be transmitted without understanding young people

“You cannot explain anything to young people without first trying to understand them. Approaching young people with ideological labels such as corrupt, disrespectful, or ignorant serves only to increase social problems,” said Dr. Dağ, emphasizing the importance of a horizontal communication ground.

Dr. Berat Dağ concluded his remarks by stating, “Therefore, remaining on as horizontal a plane as possible with young people and reflecting together on values such as trust, love, respect, loyalty, solidarity, and self sacrifice may be a meaningful starting point. More clearly, without understanding which tools, trends, and artistic forms young people engage with, and why and how they do so, it is difficult to create discussion platforms that will enable the socialization of historically positive values.”